SAFE AND SOUND

It's been nine months and a half since his temporary staying at Blaine's house became a permanent solution. In the beginning it was Leo moving in with Blaine only because his parents had decided he was no longer welcomed in their house as long as he was so messed up. Then it was him staying at Blaine's because he had nowhere else to go, but he was still ready to leave the moment he would find a place to crash. After that, he simply stopped wishing to be somewhere else. He has no idea how or when that happened, but at some point halfway through the process of getting better, he suddenly didn't want to leave anymore.

But, as far as the house is concerned, Leo still doesn't consider it his own no more than he considered Kurt and Dave's his own. He lives here. Here he's got a room where he can hide when things with Blaine get too overwhelming and Leo doesn't feel like sleeping together in the same bed. Here he's got all his clothes and all his stuff, and a personal wardrobe and shelves to put everything away. There are traces of him everywhere in the house; Blaine even took some new pictures of him to frame and put on the shelves in the living room, with all the other family photos.

And yet, this is still Blaine's house. It's not a totally negative feeling, though. It just feels like something is not over yet. Leo's pretty sure he is supposed to feel differently about this whole arrangement some day, whenever it may be. Right now, the only place that doesn't give him any weird vibe is the bathroom. And not any bathroom – there are three of them in the house – but the one in Blaine's bedroom.

Bathrooms have always had a special meaning in Leo and Blaine's relationship. It was in a bathroom that they got into trouble with each other and, most of all, with Leo's parents. Leo hid in the bathroom of Blaine's hotel room when he was fifteen and had that first horrible fight with Kurt. It was in a bathroom that Leo has cut all his hair a few months ago. And finally, it's in the bathtub Blaine has gone back to touch him, gently and reverently, washing his bad nights off his skin.

No matter how triggering a bathroom can be, it always feels like something theirs.

This one in particular is big to be a private bathroom and Leo is very fond of it, because it's isolated; once you are in here and the door is closed, you can easily pretend the rest of the world doesn't exist. Also, it's got a huge bathtub and two sinks and all those details that are the telltale of Blaine hiring some professional to find the most classy and in-style house in the middle of nowhere in Lima, Ohio. Like coordinated towels, curtains and rugs. Or the frankly atrocious oval vase that sits on a cabinet with no purpose whatsoever. It's funny and very Blaine's that, even in his need of finding quickly a house for himself and his three years old son to look after his deranged ex-boyfriend, he found the time to buy the perfect house on the market.

As if summoned by the mere thought of him, Blaine shows up at the door. His long, big shadow stretches over the tub. “I knew you were hiding in here,” he says fondly. He must have taken off his jacket on the way upstairs and he's now loosening the tie around his neck.

“I wasn't hiding,” Leo replies, calmly. “I just wanted to take a bath.”

The tie ends up on a stool. Then, Blaine starts unbuttoning his shirt. He suited up this morning, so it must have been an important meeting the one he went to. “Mind if a join you?” He asks casually. He didn't ask if he could enter the bathroom while Leo was using it. He's not asking if he can enter the bathtub either. It's not like Leo will tell him no, anyway. He can hardly take his eyes off him. He nods and sinks a little lower in the water.

Blaine slips in the tub gracefully, barely upsetting the water. Leo knows he would have made a mess, if he had to do the same; but Blaine has total control over his body. His every move is precise. Leo has never seen him move less than perfectly. Not even in the intimacy of the house. Blaine makes him slide forward, so he can sit behind him and he shivers just a little when Leo's wet back touches his chest.

“How was your day?” He asks, leaving a tender kiss on his head.

Being so intimate is still not how it used to be. Leo is still wary every time Blaine touches him, there's always a little part of him that gets scared of consequences and wants to run, but they're working on that. And Blaine's way to make him used to this again is acting like nothing has happened and everything is perfectly normal, while being very careful not to cross any line. He is good at that – he always has been – that's why Leo never really runs, even when his body wants to. “Not very exciting,” he replies, trying to relax in the man's arms. “I woke up, had breakfast and watched TV. I made dinner too, but I ate half of it for lunch, so I'll have to make something else later.”

Blaine chuckles. Since Leo has spent months not caring about meals at all, getting so skinny that he was painful to look at, Blaine never gets mad when Leo actually goes into eating spree. It reminds him of when he was healthier and he would literally show up in the kitchen at random hours, open the fridge and take out whatever was even remotely edible. “Did you go to see Dr. Williams?” Blaine asks, in what looks like a casual tone. Blaine and Dr. Williams are not exactly best buddies. She thinks he overstepped his role as Leo's guardian by getting back with him. He thinks she's a wonderful therapist, but she should keep out of this specific dynamic between him and Leo. Luckily, both want Leo to feel good again, so they learned to cope with each other.

Leo can't go out unsupervised, except to see his therapist. That's a precaution, most of all. But also, it's Leo not trusting himself to do anything on his own. So, if he had the freedom to leave the house alone every time he wants, he probably wouldn't anyway. Taking the bus twice a week to see Dr. Williams is enough to deal with for the moment. “Of course,” he says, with a little annoyance. “I promised you I won't skip any more days.”

“I was just checking,” Blaine says calmly, careful not to unleash the ever present teen that lives inside Leo's brain and often urges him to go berserk for any little thing. “You know I want you to be okay.”

“She said I'm making visible progress,” Leo informs him.

“What did you talk about today?” Blaine asks, even if he has no right to. He's not the type of man who goes around things if he wants to know something. Leo knows he doesn't have to answer if he doesn't want to, so Blaine think it safe to ask.

“Timmy.”

“Oh. What about?” Blaine takes the sponge and starts cleaning him delicately. It's a casual, natural enough gesture that gives him something to do as they speak and should help Leo relax.

Leo shrugs. “How he is. What he does and about his general presence in my life,” Leo says, leaning into his arms and let him clean him up. Blaine fingers are soothing and, no matter how close and naked they are right now, Blaine manages to keep it non-sexual, which is good.

“What did you say to her?”

Leo's getting along with his three years old son is one of Blaine's main concern right after Leo's health. It's important that Timmy accepts Leo as much as Leo accepts him because they are both very important to Blaine – they are actually the only two people that matter to him – and they are going to be part of the same family. They actually already are, but he doesn't explicit this often to any of them, because Timmy is too young and Leo's fragile mental balance is easily upset by these things.

Luckily for Blaine, Timmy seems perfectly at ease with Leo and he has accepted his presence in Blaine's life long before things got ugly. After all, Leo's always been around since Timmy was very little. Those two years Leo disappeared are a blur to Timmy, because he was just one or two years old. To him, it's like Leo just wasn't there for a couple of months, so when he suddenly showed up to live with them, it was just a pleasant surprise for him.

In fact, he adores Leo. He would let him do anything to him, which led to Leo closing him in a wardrobe for more than a hour just to get back at Blaine a few months ago. But Leo was not himself, he feels bad about that now and Blaine swore to never talk about it ever again.

“I told her we went to the mall the other day,” Leo says after a long pause, during which he got lost somewhere Blaine couldn't reach him. He saw his eyes get unfocused and he just waited for him to come back. “She asked me if it was hard for me and I said no. I actually had fun, even if you let him run away wherever he likes and that makes me anxious. She laughed.” In that very moment, Blaine bursts out laughing and Leo frowns. “Exactly as you're doing right now. Why are you laughing?”

“Because you were hilarious,” Blaine says, without pity. “You're so apprehensive!”
“I didn't want him to get kidnapped and sold on the black market!” Leo pouts a little, but he doesn't go on for long because Blaine starts kissing him on his cheek and neck, affectionately.

“I like the fact that you're apprehensive,” he corrects himself. “You can be a little overdramatic about it, but I like it nonetheless.”

Leo frowns playfully. “Now you're just trying to distract me.”

Blaine chuckles against his skin. “Indeed I am,” he confesses. “But I really mean what I said. I love you and I love you more when you are so good with Timmy.”

Leo feels the awkward subject coming up and skillfully avoids it. “Speaking of which. Where is he? Shouldn't have you picked him up from school after your meeting?” He asks and arches his head back to look at him. “Did you sell him on the black market?”

“He's at his friend Harrison's house. He never wants to stay at anybody's house and this time he asked me to, so I let him,” Blaine explains. “They're gonna bring him back after dinner. So we have the house to ourselves for the next few hours.”

Leo tenses, those words instantly taking a very specific meaning which he's not at ease with. He swallows and fidgets slightly, not wanting to disappoint Blaine but at the same time wishing to tell him he's not up for anything more than what they're doing now.

But Blaine feels it and smiles, rubbing his nose against his neck and kissing him on his cheek again. “We can watch one of your movies and then I can help you with dinner,” he offers, not even suggesting that any other kind of activities has ever crossed his mind. Leo feels a rush of love towards him that is really hard to contain. “Just to make sure you won't eat dinner before you have even made it.”

Leo chuckles and pushes him playfully. “Shut up!”

“Now, let's get you out of here,” Blaine says, with one last kiss. “I like you more without fins.”

As Blaine wraps him in a big white towel and rubs him dry, Leo distinctly feels happy and safe.
It hasn't happened for a long time, so the thought hits him hard and gives him a shiver of pleasure. He turns around in Blaine's arm and gives him a kiss, which is very well welcomed with an affectionate smile.
He doesn't know if it's the bathroom again, Blaine's arms around him or Blaine's way of handling him, but for the first time in months he really feels they can make it. Again.

Some pieces of them are coming back more easily than others, but what's missing is on the way. Not lost, just slow. And he can live with that.